tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6004458534993714527.post2136162655491733479..comments2023-09-30T22:07:52.362+10:00Comments on Coal Valley View: Dire StraitsMel @ Coal Valley Viewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00773581188651200076noreply@blogger.comBlogger73125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6004458534993714527.post-88380290354499979322014-04-09T23:18:26.394+10:002014-04-09T23:18:26.394+10:00Hello there! I have just come over to see you afte...Hello there! I have just come over to see you after reading a comment you left on Annettes My Rose Valley blog. After reading this post I think you sound wonderful and I although I don't want you to feel miserable you have made me feel so much better as I am always trying to catch up and always feel disorganised. You write really well and it feels like you have put a lot of my feelings into words. Thanks for your honesty and for sharing your feelings, I know what you mean about so much of what you have said. Do take care of yourself though, you seem to be doing a fab job to me. sending love from Bedford, UK Sam xxSamantha Robertshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04475894228707969153noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6004458534993714527.post-54415338219378010952014-03-13T07:13:26.726+11:002014-03-13T07:13:26.726+11:00I just read this! Holy-moley you got a lot of love...I just read this! Holy-moley you got a lot of lovely comments, I haven't read them all, but I hope there is some good advise in there. I have none for you except that we live so much closer now and when we move in properly (next week hopefully!) I would love to come and hang with Flynn. I;m not sure that would be productive or counter-productive for you. But maybe you could take 10 mins to lie down with cucumber over your eyes ;) Talk soon xxNatalie Mendhamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11008460314676111628noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6004458534993714527.post-31450898497849244432014-03-12T23:41:22.110+11:002014-03-12T23:41:22.110+11:00Oh Mel, sending you big virtual 'I understand ...Oh Mel, sending you big virtual 'I understand where you're coming from hugs'. If only I lived closer I'd come and help you tackle at least one part of the house that's annoying you :) I SOOOO get what you're getting at... over the past few weeks, I've felt so incredibly overwhelmed and had the 'where do I start' dilemma... and I've only got two children not 5!!! Your line about sitting down staring into space not knowing what to tackle first sounds just like me!! For me, when things reach this point, I always write a HUGE list, a bit of a brain dump/vent session... a list of all the things bugging me... larger things like a disorganised pantry down to simple things like our untidy bench or the fact that we constantly run out of toilet paper :) Then, I prioritize... I make a list of 'would like to do but are not essential' items and then things I must get onto ASAP and I tackle the urgent list slowly, bit by bit. I've only just made a dent in my list (no cleaner or outside help here either) Hang in there Mel. Sending you lots of hugs lovely xxAmandahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14697932926715802541noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6004458534993714527.post-52408191692621146752014-03-08T16:15:32.037+11:002014-03-08T16:15:32.037+11:00Oh, hello, lovely Mel! I've been away from the...Oh, hello, lovely Mel! I've been away from the blogging thing for so long, and here I am today reading this and nodding along. The other day we turned up late to Lola's first ever piano lesson and forgot the folder and bag I'd been told to bring. And the week before we drove half an hour to P and S's swimming lesson, arriving late, only to discover I'd left the bag with the swimmers/towels at home. I have been telling everyone I see lately that I have never felt so disorganised, constantly racing to catch up, always making excuses to people about why I didn't call back, didn't reply to their email, couldn't show. I have never felt less on top of things ever ever ever. So maybe there's something in the wind, or the stars, or the tides. It'll get better, surely, won't it? If you like, I could ditch my chaos and come and help with your chaos for a while...change of scenery... Repeat my mantra that got me through a very tricky year last year - "Just keep knitting." Sending big love your way xxxxGreerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00463206542148286066noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6004458534993714527.post-27772414658278608782014-03-08T09:04:19.293+11:002014-03-08T09:04:19.293+11:00How on earth did I miss this?! It certainly sounds...How on earth did I miss this?! It certainly sounds familiar ... those were the days! When my four were much younger and I was working part time I had a priority list. Food/clean dishes/clean kids/pet care/clean clothes/clean bathrooms, anything else was icing on the cake! And if things really got bad Ted would take a day off to help me clear the decks and we would then pay for a maid service to come in for a day. As a once or twice a year cost for a 'reset to clean' it's not so bad.<br /><br />Hugs xAnnie Cholewahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17608057589525908147noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6004458534993714527.post-18299386234193348892014-03-07T21:16:48.886+11:002014-03-07T21:16:48.886+11:00Oh mel! sending you the biggest virtual HUG ever!...Oh mel! sending you the biggest virtual HUG ever! I thinks as mothers we are our hardest critic, and expect to be the best mother, the best wife, the best housekeeper, cook, cleaner you name it! but we are human and will drop those balls and that is ok, because you know what? your kids are happy, they are self sufficient (i.e., helping themselves to breakfast) and you do know that slowly you will get there! Do take care of yourself, and I promise by spending those few minutes knitting each day, it will help you feel more happy about attending to the other stuff! much love! B xx<br />Brenda @ 13 Acreshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15936530633161291153noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6004458534993714527.post-76503331447638260382014-03-07T19:57:11.334+11:002014-03-07T19:57:11.334+11:00I tried to comment on this the other day when i wa...I tried to comment on this the other day when i was on my mobile, didn't happen.<br />But just so you know we're on the same page, I have a frangipani lying next to a bigger pot too! xOliviahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09853242795497420522noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6004458534993714527.post-50407931247836576472014-03-07T12:44:34.284+11:002014-03-07T12:44:34.284+11:00When your job is the same day after day after day,...When your job is the same day after day after day, plus some from time to time, is it any wonder us mums suffer from burnout. Sometimes it's all just a little overwhelming, and it would be so nice to have a break, even an hour, but it often just can't happen. Can't really offer any advice but just to say that things will get better. Hang in there! I've missed visiting your blog xoTaniahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00123593037593548003noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6004458534993714527.post-66146200413579318082014-03-05T03:18:05.933+11:002014-03-05T03:18:05.933+11:00I'm sending you a big cyber hug. I know exact...I'm sending you a big cyber hug. I know exactly what you are going through, believe me. My three are at school now, and I still feel overwhelmed with things on a regular basis. But you are doing what is important, and that is spending time with your little people. Everything else can wait. I hope you are feeling better about things very soon. CJ xxCJhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14311693185700341580noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6004458534993714527.post-41410413846644359862014-03-04T14:21:13.265+11:002014-03-04T14:21:13.265+11:00Jeepers it's getting crowded in this boat we&#...Jeepers it's getting crowded in this boat we're all in together. All I can say (and all I can do, too) is one bite at a time. XBridie @ Miss And Mistershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09999989622739733109noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6004458534993714527.post-2318593245557642612014-03-03T22:06:06.802+11:002014-03-03T22:06:06.802+11:00Oh sweet girl, I have no advice for you that someo...Oh sweet girl, I have no advice for you that someone else hasnt already given or you already know, but I have hugs for you - shitloads of them. Big virtual squishy hugs xxLife Love and Hiccupshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03283618400442819761noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6004458534993714527.post-10169782596056256642014-03-03T15:00:40.497+11:002014-03-03T15:00:40.497+11:00Oh dear Mel here is your hug xxxx your not alone! ...Oh dear Mel here is your hug xxxx your not alone! I am a nanny of 2 lovely grandsons am<br />and have been there where you are so many times! I totally sympathise,so many of us girls out there pressure ourselves with what we should be and how we should be acting,but the fact remains your human,not a machine, you have up days and down days, pull back and nurture yourself for a while, if you feel like its hanging on to long go chat to your fave doc or alternate therapist. nourish yourself with green smoothies(helps me)listen to your fave music and keep talking to the women in your life,hang in there love Elaine xxxx Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08984550300574642920noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6004458534993714527.post-79024043079175311702014-03-03T14:27:13.790+11:002014-03-03T14:27:13.790+11:00I can give no advice about balancing children, hou...I can give no advice about balancing children, housework and your own needs as a person. However, I can give you a virtual hug! HUG! xxAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03085054284790032962noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6004458534993714527.post-37867766974865216962014-03-03T14:02:48.514+11:002014-03-03T14:02:48.514+11:00look at all those wonderful comments Mel. So many ...look at all those wonderful comments Mel. So many people hear you, jeez I certainly hear you lovely.<br />How about we say poo to everything that needs to be done, go for a swim and then coffee. (Which would be so lengthy it would probably turn into a wine.) Yep. I'd love to do that.<br />ps. I was admiring a massive cobweb on a lamp before- I took comfort in the fact my flat looks a little like the Adams Family rather than sorting it out.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6004458534993714527.post-50913861862209819282014-03-03T12:58:20.786+11:002014-03-03T12:58:20.786+11:00Oh Mel, I was in transit when you wrote this post ...Oh Mel, I was in transit when you wrote this post and could not contemplate replying on my phone. Now that I am home amidst the chaos can I say that I could have written this exact post over these exact issues any given week. <br />While I only have two children I also work two ten hour days a week and alternate Saturday mornings. There is simply not enough time to get everything done and I too spend all day dealing with the immediate and never making a dent in the chaos that undermines everything else which causes endless frustration as I can never find that sock/school application/tax return/spare pen when I need it. I am however, very stubborn and now that they are both at school and I have some time I am determined to get it sorted. I am setting the timer in 15 minute bursts to tackle the things that never get done because I am doing all the things that must get done this minute. And it does actually help a bit. My advice is scrounge whatever you can for a cleaner and think very carefully about going back to work. While I love my job and it has kept me sane through several very challenging parenting years, in my case it means compressing everything else into simply less time and more responsibility and organisation. It took me six years of working part time before I felt I could justify a cleaner (ridiculous in hindsight) and that has helped enormously but there is still all the washing/folding/cooking/shopping/organisational stuff and as you know it takes A LOT of time. Anyway, must go and tackle my 15 mins before school pick up whizzes around. You are a total legend just being a mum of five kids, including a toddler. My stepmother recently told me she regrets that she did not play more with my half brother and sister as she was too busy keeping the house clean, I was really surprised that she shared this with me, perhaps to make me feel better about my messy house! mel xBungalowgirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03591099131301027446noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6004458534993714527.post-81554971886518888662014-03-03T06:35:06.858+11:002014-03-03T06:35:06.858+11:00Oh my gosh, come over here and have a huge hug!!! ...Oh my gosh, come over here and have a huge hug!!! I don't know how you do it with five kids! I have two and lose it on a regular basis. I can totally relate to this post - I know how you feel. My house is a constant mess and I just can't seem to get on top of things. I wish I was laid back enough to just ignore the piles of washing and cluttered counters (and floors, and furniture) but it really does mess with my head. This year I've given myself smaller goals. Instead of trying to tidy the entire house while the baby sleeps, I tackle just one space (not even an entire room, just a space) and it usually helps clear and head and cheer me up. Big big hugs, Col xCol | Hello Olive Designshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04573590870299496730noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6004458534993714527.post-68249510986379089612014-03-02T22:13:03.817+11:002014-03-02T22:13:03.817+11:00Hi Mel, being a solo parent five days a week until...Hi Mel, being a solo parent five days a week until recently (yay!!), I can completely relate! I only have two girls but at times our house resembled what you described in this post. I have read about a strategy called 'take 5' where at any time of the day if you or hubby call our "Take 5" everyone must stop what they're doing and pick up and put away 5 things. Of course you can increase this number if you need ;-) <br />I too feel overwhelmed with my house at times and some days our clothes form more of a 'floordrobe' than a wardrobe but I find tackling one room at a time helps. Write lists and goals for each day or week and slowly work towards them rather than wanting an instant fix which is less achievable. Good luck, know you are not alone and sending a big virtual hug your way x DreAndrea | no frills mumhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16091094315433131953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6004458534993714527.post-12278856615099776502014-03-02T21:09:22.339+11:002014-03-02T21:09:22.339+11:00Also I agree with the 15 minute timer thing for an...Also I agree with the 15 minute timer thing for any job you don't really want to do and are putting off. Having the list helps you delegate. Something else I'm pretty rubbish at. Some of the kids are better at helping than others but they all have their family task to do. I know yours help too. The more they do it. The better they get at it. You should see my unpaired sock basket! At half term Jem and I had a wedding ceremony for 64 pairs. Scary thing is that's only a pair of socks for each of us for 8 days! Xxxmumofsixhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00715014690375416475noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6004458534993714527.post-59852030305493748912014-03-02T21:04:00.733+11:002014-03-02T21:04:00.733+11:00Hi Mel! I've only just caught up with you. I h...Hi Mel! I've only just caught up with you. I hear you big time. My life is a series of lists. It does help me to feel a bit more in control. If it's on my list there's a chance I'll do it! I am not naturally terribly organised sadly. Those genes went to my sister" I remember when I had just the four kids someone said to me ' you must be so organised!' It was such a funny moment because I thought to myself ' that's where I'm going wrong!' It really hadn't occurred to me. Anyway love the milk story and the Flynn brekkie story. I had to ring Matt and ask if Toby had had breakfast before he went to school the other day because he said he was hungry and he 'hadn't had much'. Only a piece of toast it turned out. Again not really good enough. Anyway again. I always have a list on the go. Write a few things at the top that you've already done. Then you can cross them off! Gets you off to a good start. I really shouldn't be giving advice. My house is falling apart all around me. My admin basket untouched for weeks. Harry was going over his phone allowance big time for months before I noticed. Unopened bills. The boys music lessons from last term have yet to be paid. And it goes on and on and on. I started work part time in November and I'm really struggling. Lack of help, time, money and a big family is bloody hard. I think you are doing a fabulous job with those children and everything you have to do. They always look so happy and I lOve that you take time out for Flynn. Toby is at school now and I so regret, and knew I would, the time I spent doing and folding laundry when I should have been with him. It's just not worth it. The children won't remember a clean and perfect house but they will remember time spent with their mum. Big big hugs to you. Just look at that view and take some deep breaths! And socks by the trampoline Oh. my. God!! Xxxx Sarah mumofsixhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00715014690375416475noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6004458534993714527.post-17780330528700246962014-03-02T17:33:42.546+11:002014-03-02T17:33:42.546+11:00Hello. I'm late to the party as always. I know...Hello. I'm late to the party as always. I know the feeling, and you're okay feeling overwhelmed. Can you afford a cleaner? That's what I'd be looking into ... get the cleaner in once-a-week or once-a-fortnight to do the basics ... bathroom, vacuum, mop the kitchen, dust ... that will make you feel better because she'll (and they're generally women) do the stuff that's dirty, freeing you up to tackle the bigger mess over a longer period. And when things start to look clean, then you'll have more energy. CHUCK STUFF OUT!!! I have slowly been culling or boxing things in plastic crates and that's made my life a lot better. Also, don't set yourself up for failure ... why have you still got the damn Christmas tree?! CHUCK IT OUT!! Next year when you're on top of things, get another tree and pot it in a big pot then so you can keep it. Finally, with five kids it's never going to be magazine perfect. Sad, I know. But that's how it is. xoMakeminemidcenturyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15304535583168822160noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6004458534993714527.post-75501276438084185032014-03-01T23:04:46.490+11:002014-03-01T23:04:46.490+11:00Thinking of you Mel and sending hugs your way. Ca...Thinking of you Mel and sending hugs your way. Can you organise for the bigger kids to all have sleep overs at different friends all on the same weekend? That way with just Flynn at home you might get a bit more done. Either that or put all the kids to work and live with the fact that when they fold their clothes it will not be done like you would but it will be done.Fiona from Arbordale Farmhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05196630415124998431noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6004458534993714527.post-36833347699276581532014-03-01T21:23:51.073+11:002014-03-01T21:23:51.073+11:00Hugging you from here, Mel. It's awful when th...Hugging you from here, Mel. It's awful when the house takes on a life of its own. Start small. Maybe moving Flynn out if the cupboard? :) xMaxabellahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15761220164069379437noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6004458534993714527.post-46614892027855010272014-03-01T19:02:55.359+11:002014-03-01T19:02:55.359+11:00Okay I feel the same way however I don't have ...Okay I feel the same way however I don't have the hubby or the 3 extra kids to look after. I need to sort and tidy but every room, every surface, even the hallway has stuff everywhere and I just don't know which way to look. I did laugh about the school books from last year because I had two piles (James were in the laundry) which we stepped over every day of the 8 week school holidays and Sienna's which are in the dining room on the floor which are still there. Once the kids went back to school I went through the pile in the laundry because lets face it, we couldn't even get in there and it's only a small room so the books got done about 10 weeks after they were put there so don't feel bad. The problem is with things that may only take an hour .......get put off because we can always do it later but something that is big maybe cleaning the whole garage which might take a day has to get scheduled. I feel the same way as you do now and I'm feeling very over whelmed at where to start given everywhere I look it feels the same. HANG IN THERE THIS IS REAL LIFE!!!!<br /><br />www.oureverydaylifeinpictures.blogspot.com<br />www.oursimpleandmeaningfullife.blogspot.com<br />Kathyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13278810299840471966noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6004458534993714527.post-40939704101635998992014-03-01T11:58:30.730+11:002014-03-01T11:58:30.730+11:00I love you !!!!!I love you !!!!!naomi oranahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15899009927467890248noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6004458534993714527.post-78153440370389034102014-03-01T08:27:13.135+11:002014-03-01T08:27:13.135+11:00ah - so familiar! I got a cleaner! :)ah - so familiar! I got a cleaner! :)Gracehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05614153370782270462noreply@blogger.com