4 years in the saddle with Twins......

A busy couple of weeks here at the Farmlet with 3 of the Kidlets celebrating their birthdays in the one week.

Oh my goodness, my babies turned 4!!!

One requested a pink heart cake and the other a blue star cake. 

For them, their day was all about opening gifts at the crack of dawn, having a little party at home in the afternoon with some friends and blowing out their 4 candles.

For me, however, their Birthday always makes me feel a little teary and nostalgic as I reminisce about my journey with them over the last 4 years.

I've been a bit reluctant to write about my births in any great detail as it sadly seems to be one of those topics that divides women into either the natural birth versus caesarean camps, whereas all we should be doing is rejoicing in the birth of a healthy baby. At the same time, I really want to document some of the details as I don't want to forget them so bear with me over the next couple of Posts as I do a bit of reminiscing.

I always hoped to have a natural births but have never actually had one of those birth plans. What do I know? I had enough friends before me have children to know that there are no guarantees during the birth process. Despite wanting a particular experience, sometimes things just don't go plan. I honestly went into the births without any expectations other than a hope for a healthy baby at the end of the process. I had a positive frame of mind, hoping for as little intervention as possible but grateful to be living in a time where modern medicine with all its life-saving advances are on stand-by.

 In the end, I had "uneventful" pregnancies and positive, natural drug-free births for which I am very grateful. They were relative quick births though so who knows what cocktail of drugs I would have been asking for if they went any longer than they did! The first birth was 8 hours, the second was 3 hours and the Twins were just 2 hours. 

I thought my experience was fairly standard until I had my first baby and entered the world of "The New Mother". I was the one in the Mothers Group that had a positive experience but chose to stay quiet about my own birth as I listened to some of the new Mums absolutely devastated that their birth didn't go "to plan" and how traumatic it was. There they were with their beautiful babies but couldn't get past their birth experience. Why so much pressure? Was it judgement from others or themselves? In my experience, although the topic of birth is high on the agenda in the first year or 2 of having a baby, by the time your child gets to school, not a single person asks this question. It doesn't matter. 

Unless of course you have Twins. 

If you are seen with Twins, then you will still be asked intimate questions about your Twin Pregnancy and birth 4 years on, and almost on a daily basis.

The conversation always seems to be the same and I am usually interrupted with the following questions in the personal hygiene aisle of the supermarket as I try in vain to choose a toothpaste:

"Oh wow, Twins?!?"

Yes...

"Are they identical?"

Yes...

"Are you sure?"

Yes...

"My best friend's cousin's sister's neighbour has boy and girl Twins and they are the most identical twins I have ever seen"

Hmm...(This is actually an impossibility)

"Are they IVF or conceived naturally?"

Naturally. Identical Twins are actually completely random. One egg splitting into 2 is a complete freak of nature and can happen to anyone.

"But there are Twins everywhere nowadays!"

Yes, the incidence of non-identical (fraternal) Twins has grown exponentially in recent decades - due  to an overall increase in the use of fertility drugs, IVF, being an "older" mother, being a slightly bigger build, being an African-American woman, and having a family history of having non-identical Twins.

The incidence of identical Twins has remained the same for the last 100 years.

"How old are you if you don't mind me asking?"

Hmm.....I was 30 when I fell pregnant with Twins (if you really must know) but age is not a factor in identical twins.

"Did you find out what you're having?"

No.

"Did you have them naturally or via Caesarean section?"

Naturally...

"Did you breastfeed them?"

Yes. For 12 months.

"At the same time?"

Yes, the first 6 weeks with the big twin feeding pillow and yes I felt like a cow. After 6 weeks I could feed them one after the other without the other one crying.

"Do you have Twins in the family?"

No. Identical Twins are not hereditary.

"My husband has Twins in the family so we might have Twins down the track."

Hmm...(actually, your Partner has absolutely no bearing on whether YOU will release 2 eggs at once and have non-identical twins, although he may pass the "hyper ovulation gene onto any daughter you may have.  Your odds of having identical twins are the same as everyone else's).

You won't be having any more then?

Actually I have two older ones at school and now another on the way (I either get a lovely "you are so lucky" response or a look of sheer horror) 

"You must have had your hands full, how did you cope?"

Hmm...strong coffee in the morning and a glass of wine at night. When things got too much, I opened the doors and windows, turned the music up loud and chopped the heads off the Agapanthas. But tell me, what toothpaste do you use because I'm struggling to decide between the Minty Fresh and the Maximum Cavity Protection......

Happy Birthday Boys :-)