My Grandmother
9 March 1921 - 12 September 2011
Showing posts with label My Grandparents. Show all posts
Showing posts with label My Grandparents. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Wordless Wednesday - A Classic 1940's Beauty
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
A Ship Without A Sail
It has been a difficult week.
I recently wrote about my gorgeous Grandparents here and how grateful I am to have them in my life.
On Monday night I lost my beloved Grandmother.
I had popped in to visit them one evening last week. Their computer was playing up and Grandma couldn't access her e-mails. Computer troubles were an emergency in her world as e-mails were her lifeline to all her family members around the world.
I stayed for a chat and since it was time for "sevensies" I joined them for a glass of wine. Regardless of the time of day, it's always wine-o-clock at my Grandparent's house. They have eleven-sies, one-sies, five-sies and seven-sies etc. They were still on cloud 9 from our Fathers Day picnic the weekend before. They had had the best day. I mentioned I wanted to learn to crochet. Grandma said she had all the crochet needles so grab some wool and we'd get onto it. She gave me some of her old casserole dishes to take home. I was grateful to receive them but it still gave me a little pang in the chest at the thought they were giving away their items in preparation for the inevitable. They both walked me out onto the patio to say goodbye. That would be the last time I would ever see them together in their family home.
Two days later, I received a phone call that Grandma had suffered a stroke and was in hospital. I visited her that night with my 2 lovely cousins. The stroke was severe and had left her paralysed on her left side. It was devastating to see her like that. She kept her eyes closed but she was OK. She was chatty and sounded like her normal self. She is a stoic woman and a wee bit feisty. She is also cheeky, even in her final days. The nurses had asked her to squeeze her right hand tight to see if she had movement. She clenched her right hand, no problems. However, when they asked her to squeeze her left hand she took her right hand across and squeezed her left hand with her right and said "there, I squeezed my left!" See. Cheeky.
But she let her guard down as she talked about our Grandpa. She said how much she enjoys looking after him. That they always hold hands. That they hold hands and kiss each other every night. That they might have a little cuddle. Like they did when they were younger. That as soon as they wake up in the morning they hold hands again and have another little cuddle. By the time she said "I must admit I really do love him" the tears were streaming down our faces and onto her bed. We stroked her head and held her hand. It was very special. She told us to go home to our husbands and children.
I visited her again the next day with my daughter. We had another lovely chat. She was not too concerned with her condition. Fine one day and now this, she exclaimed. She said the nurses had been wonderful. Maybe she won't be able to walk again or go home but she still had her 'smarts' and would be OK somewhere with help.
On Sunday I visited her again. However, this time she was not responsive. I asked the nurse if this was normal. When will she wake up? But like a bolt of lightning I realised she would not be leaving the hospital. I started grieving from this moment on.
On Monday I thought I'd call the hospital first as I didn't want to see her like I had the day before. Too heartbreaking. But maybe she had come around, the nurses had said anything is possible. The outcome of Strokes are hard to predict. But the nurse said she was still unresponsive. No change. I went to visit one last time anyway. I said my Goodbyes.
I got the call that night that she had gone. It was sooner than expected but I was relieved that she did not have to suffer in that condition any longer. It really was the kindest end for her and for my Grandfather.
Although the sadness catches me unawares throughout the day, it is bearable and I welcome it as a way to remember her and be grateful. It is simply a sadness at the loss of a beautiful 90 year old Grandmother who has lived a wonderful life surrounded by loving family and friends. For that I am truly grateful. The loss one must feel upon losing a parent, sibling or child unexpectedly or to illness or before their time would be an entirely different loss altogether. There is a big difference. This is bittersweet.
I feel blessed to have had her in my life. I'll be a little lost without her there in the wings. But it's OK. She has made me who I am today and the memories we share will stay with me forever. I am grateful that I was able to say goodbye and that I was able to spend so much time with her since moving to Sydney. I told her often how special she was to me and that I loved her so much. No regrets here. No unfinished business. I know I am very fortunate.
But as I mourn the loss, all my thoughts are with my Grandpa who has lost the love of his life. The thought of his pain is almost unbearable. They were to celebrate their 70th Wedding Anniversary in 12 weeks time. A cruel blow. Not that their 69 years and 9 months together is in any way diminished. They were childhood sweethearts and theirs is a love story unlike any other kind. Perhaps more on that another time. On Grandpa being asked how he feels: "Like A Ship Without A Sail", he says.
My sentiments exactly.
I recently wrote about my gorgeous Grandparents here and how grateful I am to have them in my life.
On Monday night I lost my beloved Grandmother.
I had popped in to visit them one evening last week. Their computer was playing up and Grandma couldn't access her e-mails. Computer troubles were an emergency in her world as e-mails were her lifeline to all her family members around the world.
I stayed for a chat and since it was time for "sevensies" I joined them for a glass of wine. Regardless of the time of day, it's always wine-o-clock at my Grandparent's house. They have eleven-sies, one-sies, five-sies and seven-sies etc. They were still on cloud 9 from our Fathers Day picnic the weekend before. They had had the best day. I mentioned I wanted to learn to crochet. Grandma said she had all the crochet needles so grab some wool and we'd get onto it. She gave me some of her old casserole dishes to take home. I was grateful to receive them but it still gave me a little pang in the chest at the thought they were giving away their items in preparation for the inevitable. They both walked me out onto the patio to say goodbye. That would be the last time I would ever see them together in their family home.
Two days later, I received a phone call that Grandma had suffered a stroke and was in hospital. I visited her that night with my 2 lovely cousins. The stroke was severe and had left her paralysed on her left side. It was devastating to see her like that. She kept her eyes closed but she was OK. She was chatty and sounded like her normal self. She is a stoic woman and a wee bit feisty. She is also cheeky, even in her final days. The nurses had asked her to squeeze her right hand tight to see if she had movement. She clenched her right hand, no problems. However, when they asked her to squeeze her left hand she took her right hand across and squeezed her left hand with her right and said "there, I squeezed my left!" See. Cheeky.
But she let her guard down as she talked about our Grandpa. She said how much she enjoys looking after him. That they always hold hands. That they hold hands and kiss each other every night. That they might have a little cuddle. Like they did when they were younger. That as soon as they wake up in the morning they hold hands again and have another little cuddle. By the time she said "I must admit I really do love him" the tears were streaming down our faces and onto her bed. We stroked her head and held her hand. It was very special. She told us to go home to our husbands and children.
I visited her again the next day with my daughter. We had another lovely chat. She was not too concerned with her condition. Fine one day and now this, she exclaimed. She said the nurses had been wonderful. Maybe she won't be able to walk again or go home but she still had her 'smarts' and would be OK somewhere with help.
On Sunday I visited her again. However, this time she was not responsive. I asked the nurse if this was normal. When will she wake up? But like a bolt of lightning I realised she would not be leaving the hospital. I started grieving from this moment on.
On Monday I thought I'd call the hospital first as I didn't want to see her like I had the day before. Too heartbreaking. But maybe she had come around, the nurses had said anything is possible. The outcome of Strokes are hard to predict. But the nurse said she was still unresponsive. No change. I went to visit one last time anyway. I said my Goodbyes.
I got the call that night that she had gone. It was sooner than expected but I was relieved that she did not have to suffer in that condition any longer. It really was the kindest end for her and for my Grandfather.
Although the sadness catches me unawares throughout the day, it is bearable and I welcome it as a way to remember her and be grateful. It is simply a sadness at the loss of a beautiful 90 year old Grandmother who has lived a wonderful life surrounded by loving family and friends. For that I am truly grateful. The loss one must feel upon losing a parent, sibling or child unexpectedly or to illness or before their time would be an entirely different loss altogether. There is a big difference. This is bittersweet.
I feel blessed to have had her in my life. I'll be a little lost without her there in the wings. But it's OK. She has made me who I am today and the memories we share will stay with me forever. I am grateful that I was able to say goodbye and that I was able to spend so much time with her since moving to Sydney. I told her often how special she was to me and that I loved her so much. No regrets here. No unfinished business. I know I am very fortunate.
But as I mourn the loss, all my thoughts are with my Grandpa who has lost the love of his life. The thought of his pain is almost unbearable. They were to celebrate their 70th Wedding Anniversary in 12 weeks time. A cruel blow. Not that their 69 years and 9 months together is in any way diminished. They were childhood sweethearts and theirs is a love story unlike any other kind. Perhaps more on that another time. On Grandpa being asked how he feels: "Like A Ship Without A Sail", he says.
My sentiments exactly.
Friday, August 19, 2011
Precious Gifts From My Grandpa
A highlight of my week is visiting my gorgeous Grandparents every Thursday.
At 90 and 93 years old, they are in remarkable health for their age and still live in their original family home they built with their own hands. They have 4 children, 12 grandchildren and 14 great grandchildren scattered around the world. This year they will celebrate their 70th Wedding Anniversary.
I have never lived around the corner from any extended family so when we moved to Sydney last year I jumped at the chance to live close to these very special people and to the area which held so many fond childhood memories for me.
I love spending time with them chatting about our family history, what their thoughts and feeling are on certain issues and just getting to know them better. They delight in seeing my 4 children too (although I do get heart palpitations watching the boys tear around their lounge room which is home to an impressive collection of Lladro Porcelain Figurines and Wedgewood Jasperware. The swimming pool from the 50’s remains unfenced too, another heart stopper but I’m digressing as usual…)
Growing up, we lived almost 2 hours away but we saw them frequently. They often travelled down to our place to watch us play sports and receive awards at school assemblies. But I loved visiting their home the most. All I need is the slightest whiff of Wisteria to enter my nostrils and I’m transported back to their backyard where I am swimming naked in their pool, feeding the Rosella’s in front of the kitchen, sipping lemonade from the coloured anodized aluminium picnic cups or looking through the photo albums they meticulously kept. I loved the little flower posies my grandmother used to give me as we left our visits – Cammelias, Roses, Pansies, Daisies, Dahlias all wrapped in little paper doilies with foil covering their stems. They would call out “toodle-pip!” as we’d leave their long driveway for the long trip home.
It was from my Grandmother that I learned to knit and the gift of letter writing. I started writing letters to her regularly when I was 6, a tradition that continued for the next 28 years. Regardless of where I was in the world and what was happening in my life, the letters were a constant. I remember being sad when we moved here because there would be no need to exchange letters or e-mails anymore but we actually still do it, even though they live only 5 minutes away!
My earliest memory of Grandpa was sitting on his knee asking him how old he was and him answering, “Clickety Click sixty six”. I was 5. He enjoyed making pottery and I remember him making wonderful pumpkins and receiving pottery as birthday gifts in the form of quirky snails and piggy banks.
My grandparents have always been there for me and when my own family was ripped apart following the divorce of my parents and as other family dramas unfolded over those years, the one constant in my life was the love of these 2 special people.
So yesterday when I went to visit them things were different. The first thing I saw when I walked in was all of Grandpa’s pottery laid out on the dining table. He wanted me to choose some items. Of course at 93 I knew I had to cherish every moment left with them. But I just couldn’t cope with the fact that my Grandpa was aware of his own mortality and had made the deliberate decision to start preparing and part with his treasured possessions. I had to hold back the tears. Which I did. Until I got to the car and I then I completely lost it.
I know I am so fortunate to be able to receive this way. And what a beautiful thing. To be able to see the people you love enjoying your treasured pieces before you pass and to know how happy they are to receive them. It is something that I hope to be in a position to do as I age.
I will look at these pieces everyday and think of the hands that made them. The same hands that fought overseas in World War 2 for the freedom my family and I get to enjoy today. The same hands that pulled mattresses over the windows of the maternity wards to protect the women in labour when the Japanese submarines arrived in Sydney Harbour. And the same hands that embrace me whenever I visit on Thursdays. Yes, I will treasure these pieces forever. Thank you Grandpa!
This week I am grateful for my Grandparents. Has anyone else received precious gifts from their loved ones before they passed away and how did it make you feel? What are you grateful for this week?
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