Monday, June 2, 2014

The Waiting Game



"So, when are you starting your farm project?"
"When are the builders arriving?"
"When will the Orchard and Berries be planted out?"
"When will the roadworks begin?"
"When are you going back to work"?

When? When? When?

Soon. Soon. Soon.

Soon was a perfectly acceptable answer for many months but now the Kids are growing impatient and starting to ask "but when is soon?" I'm starting to wonder myself.

Remember our Farm Project? We're playing the waiting game on starting it and it feels like the final weeks of a pregnancy when you know the baby will arrive at some point but you have no idea exactly when that will be. It could be today or it could be in a few weeks time. It's definitely going to happen, but when? Who knows? Every day as you get closer and closer to the exciting moment when you will meet your precious bundle so too does the frustration of waiting. In the meantime you feel like taking the phone off the hook, avoiding the school gate and staving off any well meaning questions at the corner store with "won't be long. Any day now. Almost there. Soon.". It all gets a bit exhausting so you resort to hibernating inside the home and fear you are heading to loopyville when you start googling the definition of "soon" because you are sick to death of hearing that word come out of your mouth a thousand times a day and desperately need an alternative answer. It appears there isn't one. I just looked. Sigh

We are so close now. So close that there is just a teeny tiny signature separating the dream from a reality. A reality that will see me bursting with excitement again, building something from nothing, growing things, making things and welcoming people to our farm. It has all been going to plan but because there is so much at stake I'm growing impatient. The piece of paper could be signed today or it could be in a few weeks. It's almost 99% likely it will happen but I don't know when and until I see that signature on the piece of paper there is a slim chance it may not happen at all. If it doesn't happen we simply continue on with the original Plan and will get there in the end. Daniel assures me this is all part of the ups and downs of starting your own business. All this capital-raising and deal-making phase is the stuff he thrives on. Me? Not so much.

This morning I woke up to an incredible fog. It was so eerie and beautiful but I felt flat because all I could think of was that it was now Winter and we need to get things planted this season. Time is ticking and I am oh so tired of the waiting and the wondering. This project has been dominating so much of my time and mental energy, so much so that I have purposely avoided talking about it in this space because I've been living it so intensely and need a break from it when I open up the laptop in the evenings. We are at the end of the long, steep climb up the rollercoaster and I'm slowly running out of puff. I can only hope as I reach the top and roll over the precipice that my energy will return and I'll be able to match the fast and furious crazy ride down that I know awaits me. In the meantime, there will be knitting, and lots of it, lest my fingernails get chewed down to the wick.

Are you playing the waiting game on something right now?

Mel xxx

28 comments :

  1. Mel{{}} Enjoy this time really, like the time just before a baby as you say. when the signature is obtained you'll hit the ground running and will be struggling for time some days.
    Tip mmm, well to pass the time you could make sure the house has a thorough clean and all systems are in place. just like nesting:):)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Cute photo Mel....it all sounds so exciting...I think like the baby, enjoy those sleepless nights before it's born because it's full steam ahead once the baby (the farm project) starts. Very exciting times for your family ahead. Regards Kathy A, Brisbane, Australia

    ReplyDelete
  3. I read that with anxiety in my voice. I can only imagine.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh waiting. Isn't it horrid. (Unlike your AMAZING plan. Wowsers). Yes. We too are playing the waiting game. Been quite a while now.....dum ti dum di tum....

    ReplyDelete
  5. I am playing the waiting game and it's killing me. A week I've been waiting for a package...a week I tell you!
    Errr, not quite as exciting as your farm plans though. I was actually telling someone about them just yesterday, so yes indeed I still remember! :-)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh Mel, waiting is so hard, especially when you don't know when the waiting will end. Your description of the frustration of waiting for that final signature exactly describes the feelings I have gone through with each of our three international adoptions. Pure agony. Hugs to you...

    ReplyDelete
  7. The anticipation (and anxiety) will make start day so much more magnificent.
    I am not sure how I overlooked it but it has only just hit home that the plans include an orchard. To say that I am envious is an understatement! Please do tell more about the plans for the orchard Mel.

    Cx

    ReplyDelete
  8. I hope that the waiting ends for you soon and that all is well with that final signature. They say that the best things come to those who wait, so I hope that when things come, they are the very best for you! xx

    ReplyDelete
  9. Gosh it's so painful isn't it this wait but soon I'm sure you will be in the thick of it! :) x

    ReplyDelete
  10. Mel, this is what friends are for, to give you that little extra push when your "puff" is all out. Hang in there, you are so close, one way or another, things will turn up wonderfully!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Oh the waiting must be driving you mad, but you'll be so, so busy once you start you may wish to be back waiting! Won't it be fantastic once you're up and running though.
    I'm just waiting for the builder to complete the project he's on so he can be paid; then maybe, just maybe he can do a little work on our house!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hugs to you. I can only imagine the stress you must be feeling. It's going to be really wonderful when it's all ready to go. I hope you're able to find ways to be peaceful while you wait.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Hey Mel,
    Although it's far smaller in comparison, our house sell has become a waiting game too. And like you I have avoided talking about it on my blog, because the whole process has become so frustrating. My husband tells me to relax and go with the flow, but that just isn't me. You have my every sympathy. I hate that feeling of not being in control. The rollercoaster that you mentioned in your post. As my Mum always says "All good things to those who wait." And just think of all those fabulous knits you can make while you are waiting ;)
    Much love,
    Leanne xx

    ReplyDelete
  14. I think your signature will arrive before our baby :) Hang in there, it won't be long! (That counts as a synonym to soon, doesn't it?)

    ReplyDelete
  15. I'm so feeling for you. I'm the most impatient person ever. I hate waiting and the feeling of wanting things to happen. May the day of waiting be over really, really soon for you guys:) x

    ReplyDelete
  16. Frustrating! Waiting is half the fun though isn't it Mel? I'm not sure how I would be in this situation though, at least you have a lovely view from those windows as you wait. Hopefully it will be all sorted soon and you can breathe a sigh of relief. All the best. cheers Wendy

    ReplyDelete
  17. So exciting ... But oh, the waiting! Three years ago we had the same feeling waiting on our building company and then the council to start our renovations. What I naively expected to be May or June stretched to November. But them when it all finally started there was no time to breathe, and ten weeks later (even including Christmas, I think) it was finished. Take this time to enjoy your knitting, dream a lot, and do little projects you won't have time for later! xx

    ReplyDelete
  18. I know exactly how you feel. I kept quiet about our Barley Barn project for three years and only blogged about it when we actually started work on the barn. Even then it felt a bit premature when building work was delayed but in the end it all worked out. Fingers crossed for you. You're nearly at the top of the ride and I'm looking forward to watching the crazy descent :)

    ReplyDelete
  19. I keep thinking of the page in Oh the places you'll go...where everybody is just waiting.

    But remember when you tell a soon to be Mum to rest now while you can? Have a chat to yourself because pretty soon you are going to be bussssyyyyyyyy.

    ReplyDelete
  20. I feel your pain... Not quite the same situation but we have spent the 1st half of this year waiting, wondering, stressing, and generally driving ourselves mad wondering if our eldest son would get into a school of our choice. It's a long process: applying, hoping for an interview (yes, 4 year old are interviewed to get into schools!!!), some more waiting, and finally last week, 2 letters of acceptance to two great schools. Phew. Now we're start stressing about which one to choose ;-)

    Good luck! You'll soon be on your way!

    x

    ReplyDelete
  21. Hang in there! I am horribly impatient so I can imagine how crazy this process must be driving you, but it will all be worth it in the end! Maybe try to think of this time as downtime before things get crazy busy? The calm before the storm (but a good storm!) Can't wait to watch this adventure unfold! xx

    Katie xx

    ReplyDelete
  22. Oh, yes, it sounds stressful. I like to be in control of things and don't deal at all well with unknowns and the unexpected and the things beyond my control. I think you are coping really well actually! Try to give in to it and enjoy the waiting, enjoy the time to do whatever needs doing, before the busyness and business really kicks off. Hang in there. xx

    ReplyDelete
  23. I hope this one last signature will be on the papers soon. I hate waiting for something exiting but luckily my life is not that exiting just now. Hang on in there Mel, before you know you'll be so busy that waiting will be something you long for.. Have a great weekend. x

    ReplyDelete
  24. Fingers crossed the signature happens really, really soon. And meanwhile, enjoy the interlude between planning and the realisation of those plans, before you know it you'll be rushed off your feet x

    ReplyDelete
  25. Ah, the frustration! Since writing this post though, you are one week closer! (I am slowly catching up on blog reading. :)
    I really hope that soon is sooner rather than later, and that you can move out of this limbo and on to the next stage quickly. xx

    ReplyDelete
  26. It will happen> :) Waiting game here for the university exam next Friday and then I can live a real life again and knit and clean the house and pay decent attention to the poor children and relax! hope you get lots of knitting in - I can knit while memorizing easily :)

    ReplyDelete
  27. Beautiful photo Mel!
    I will definately visit if/when we visit your beautiful island! x

    ReplyDelete
  28. I can imagine your frustration Mel and your eagerness for that signature! Just think how estatic you will be when this stage is behind you and the building/planting etc begins and your plans really begin to take shape xx

    ReplyDelete