A Self Portrait

Those are not balloons between their legs.

I see my two little 4 year olds as complete individuals, so much so that I sometimes forget that they are actually identical Twins and that people may have difficulty telling them apart.

Having another set of identical twins in the house last weekend reminded me just how hard it can be to tell twins apart. It also reminded me how far we had come with our own. For the first couple of years of their lives their Brother Charles, who is 2 years older, couldn't tell them apart at all. He would regularly be heard saying things like "Mum, the red one hit the green one!" or "the blue one is crying" or "the striped one put a fly in his mouth and ate it". One night in between spoonfuls of Spaghetti he declared that he could now tell the Boys apart. They were 3. 

Because of the special bond that Twins naturally share, we have tried hard to balance that by treating them as the individuals that they are and letting their own personalities develop organically. Without sounding like we are undertaking our own social experiment, it has been really fascinating watching them form their own identities. It still intrigues me that there are any differences in personality at all given that they are genetically identical and have barely spent a second of their lives apart. As far as the nature versus nurture theory goes, they have had the exact same experiences. But different they are, even if we are splitting hairs.

It usually takes a stranger to bring me back to the fact they are identical. We were recently at the Barber and were asked which Twin wanted the "Bieber" and which one was going to have the "Buzzcut". The Barber clearly thought they needed a different hairstyle to make it easier to tell them apart. "Oh! Can we just do the normal short back and sides today?". Sheesh, they're only 4, plenty of time down the track for them to decide whether or not they want to follow the teen celebrity of the day. 

I've never wanted to purposely distinguish them from each other with a permanent feature such as a hairstyle, clothing style or tattoo (I've seen people do this!) and up until this year there hasn't been a need. Friends and family can tell them apart (now) and if we are with someone new, I will introduce them according to how they appear at that moment "Noah is Superman today" or "This is George with the massive bruise on his shin".

Now that they are at School and wearing identical School Uniforms, for the first time they are encountering people getting them mixed up all day long. It's mostly their school friends but the boys are getting used to correcting them. Their Teacher usually picks out something in the morning and remembers it during the day, usually one has his socks pulled up to his knees and the other rolled down to his ankles.  

Although we have spent much time encouraging and focussing on their differences, today I was reminded that it's also important to celebrate their Twin-ness too. At the bottom of George's school bag was a crumpled drawing. "It's my self-portrait", he said. "It's me and Noah. We are Pirates holding our treasure maps". So cute I almost cried. 

EDIT: After reading your comments I felt the need to add that before I had Twins, I fell into the trap of just saying "hello" to an identical twin and even having a conversation with them without even knowing which twin I might be talking to. Having spoken to others about this, I know it's a fairly common thing to do because you feel bad that you can't tell them apart. As a Mum of identical Twins now,  my biggest worry is that people will similarly not bother to address them at all because they are worried or embarrassed about getting them mixed up. I think it is better to have a go (there's a 50% chance you'll get it right!) or just ask them what their name is rather than not make any effort at all. They are fully aware people don't know who they are straight away and will be happy you're trying :-)

I have no idea who's who when I look back at this photo. Just saying :-)

Twin Pregnancy and Birth and the Mid-Air Emergency

If you are the slightest bit interested in Twin Pregnancies and Birth then grab a cup of Tea as this is one of my longer Posts. If not, then please just wait till tomorrow when I can delight you with my orange-centred daffodils and latest knitting creations :-)

Following on from my last Post, I decided to go ahead and write about my last pregnancy and birth. I never envisaged these topics being written about when I started my Blog last year but seeing as I currently find myself 28 weeks pregnant with baby number 5, I feel it's not completely incongruous to enter the 'pregnancy and baby' space here on this Blog. I'm also feeling a little nostalgic and realise if I don't write about it here it will be lost in my memory. 

Twin Pregnancy - Early Signs

I suspected I was having Twins the very day I did the home pregnancy test to confirm my 3^rd pregnancy. 

After hopping in the shower and feeling like my chest was being hit by a stream of high pressured cement I just knew I was pregnant.  We had visitors staying with us so I made an excuse to go to the pharmacy and then was too excited to wait till I got home so I stopped on the way home at the fast food establishment that is trashy but has clean bathrooms and did the test there. I'm all class, I know! Instead of the usual faint blue or pink line, this line was even darker than the control line and it appeared in a matter of seconds. This was very unusual for someone like me who wastes a small fortune on home pregnancy tests a few days in a row before it finally comes up positive with the faintest of blue or pink lines. It dawned on me then that maybe my hormone levels were really high and I might possibly be having twins.

Around week 6, morning sickness had started with a vengeance greater than the other pregnancies. I did whatever I could to function so I could look after the other two children, which meant a daily trip to the local corner store for their greasiest, most revolting hamburgers to keep the nausea at bay.

By week 12, I was seriously looking like I was a few months further along. Everyone kept saying it was just my 3^rd pregnancy and you ‘pop’ out quicker and you are more tired if you have other children to look after, but I just had a feeling it was Twins.

My “Google-chondria” took hold and every day I was looking up “signs and symptoms you are having Twins”. Hoping. I was definitely one of those people that always thought it would be great to have Twins. I seemed to tick every box on the symptom front, except there was no family history of twins, a fact that is irrelevant in the case of identical twins but I didn’t know that at the time.

Needless to say I was counting the days until I could have my first scan. 

It’s Twins!

I will NEVER forget the day I found out I was really having twins. It was one of the most exciting days of my life. I tell people it's like winning the lottery but even better because you didn't even know you had bought a ticket. I just never thought I'd be a candidate for Twins. 

My obstetrician was away for a month at the time I would normally have had my first appointment and scan, around 12 weeks. Although I was initially happy to wait until he returned, I was getting anxious that maybe something was terribly wrong with the pregnancy. So at 14 weeks, I opted to have a scan at an external place and because I was so worried, The Pianoman decided to come along too.

This place was super fancy, with a massive TV screen and they darkened the room so you can see the first images of the Fetus.  Two big circles appear on the screen. The Pianoman says "Is that what I think it is?" There is the obligatory joke about the two-headed Tasmanian baby. I burst into tears, happy tears, and all I could say is "I knew it I knew it!!".  I tell the receptionist I'm having twins and she tells me to go home and have a stiff drink. I opt for a walk along 7 Mile Beach, up and back the entire length. I ring friends and family and tell anyone who would listen. 

In hindsight I wish I left my Twin news to myself for as long as possible because as I suddenly found myself at the mercy of people's (well-meaning?) responses:

"Oh you poor thing!" (Actually I'm pretty happy about this news)
"Wouldn't wish Twins on my worst enemy!" (Really? Why?)
"I knew someone who had Twins but lost one or both of them during the pregnancy, at birth, after the birth, at age 1, 2, 3..........." (Yep, there are no guarantees. Thanks so much for your supportive comments!)
"How will you cope with 4 under 4?" (No idea. Will do my best)
"That's high risk, you'll have to have a Caesarean" (So what? Couldn't care less how they come into the world, healthy Mum, healthy babies and all that)
"Are you sure you still have 2 in there, you don't look big enough?" (Um, well, there were still two at the last scan, will have to wait till the next scan and the next and the next........Ahhh please go away!)

Normally I wouldn't care about what people say but when you're pregnant and fragile a lot of rationality flies out the window. After 2 standard pregnancies, I really worked myself into quite a lather with the Twins. My obstetrician told me to tell everyone to bugger off, that we will proceed as normal, that given my previous normal births and pregnancies a normal delivery is recommended as long as the Twin closest to the starting line has its head down, that he won't let me go over 38 weeks, that he is quietly confident all will be OK. Relax. Enjoy.

As far a Twins go, mine were Di-Chorionic/Di-Amniotic Twins meaning they had their own Sacs and Placentas and as far as Twins go they were the least risky. Having separate sacs is normally indicative of non-identical Twins but if an egg splits in the first few days Identical Twins can also have their own sacs. So based on their presentation it was 60% likely the Twins were non-identical and 40% likely they were identical. Obviously if they were boy/girl twins, they would be 100% non-identical but we didn't want to find out what we were having so the Obstetrician didn't give that information away. In my mind I thought they had to be identical since I didn't fit the criteria for having non-identical twins. So I guess I was expecting 2 boys or 2 girls.

The pregnancy progressed as normal until my pelvis packed it in at the halfway point when I developed Symphysis Pubis Diastasis, a normal but painful condition during pregnancy. Basically, the pubic bone loosens up for the birth and starts to separate, causing great pain, even while walking. This is great for childbirth but not so great for the months prior.

And then there was the Mid-Air Emergency scare.

The Mid-Air Emergency

At 26 weeks pregnant, I was on a flight from Hobart to Heyman Island in The Whitsundays for my friends Wedding when I started feeling light-headed and dizzy. I went to the bathroom to splash water on my face and I start de-robing myself to cool down. Suddenly I felt like I was about to faint. Just prior to fainting I pressed the big red Emergency button. When I came to there were 2 flight attendants standing over me. I was wearing nothing but those ugly compression stockings and I'm on the floor of the revolting toilet and quite embarrassed. They tell me I've fainted and see that I'm pregnant and ask if I'm having contractions. No. One flight attendant tells me she went into labour at 27 weeks on a plane and this information causes a wave of panic to come over me. They put my dress back on and carry me to a chair and there is a call over the loudspeaker for a Doctor or Nurse. 

A Nurse comes over and starts taking my blood pressure etc. She says she can barely feel a pulse and my blood pressure is dangerously low. She looks concerned and I experience another wave of panic. I was on my own, the Pianoman back at home with the Kids for the weekend. I really start thinking I was dying or something. There was chatter about diverting the plane to Canberra instead of Sydney but they couldn't get clearance and we were almost there anyway. Sit tight. There's an ambulance on the Tarmac waiting for you. Oh my goodness! I have never been so worried in my life - 26 weeks is way too early for Twins to be born.

We touch down in Sydney and I'm carried down the stairs by 2 Ambo's into the Ambulance and we are on our way to the Prince of Wales Hospital in Randwick, sirens blaring and everything. First trip in an Ambulance. They start performing some basic tests on me and tell me the instruments the nurse was using must have been faulty. I wasn't dying. My heart was fine. More tests and Ultrasounds were performed at the Hospital. I had low blood pressure and was treated for severe dehydration but the babies were fine! Must drink more water! A few hours later I was discharged and Jetstar arranged to have me put up in an airport Hotel and my flights were changed to the following morning. It happened to be the same flight as my friends' parents and some other friends, which was great because I was slightly nervous about getting on the next 3 flights to get to our destination after my little adventure the previous day.

The Wedding was gorgeous and the final 12 weeks of the pregnancy was thankfully uneventful.

The Birth

By 38 weeks I was so huge and uncomfortable that I could barely walk or sleep or eat without immense discomfort. I was beside myself and didn't think I could cope any longer. At my final Doctor's appointment, the Doctor looked at me and said "right, come in tomorrow and we'll get this show on the road!". Thank Goodness! If I could, I would have jumped over the table and given him a huge hug right there and then. 38 weeks is considered full term for Twins so I was not the slightest bit worried about being induced.

This was the last photo taken of me pregnant with Twins - a day or two before they were born. I still can't believe how big I got - not even my clothes would fit anymore!

38 weeks pregnant with Twins

I was told to be at the hospital at 8am the following morning to be induced. However, I started having contractions in the car during the 20 minute car trip and burst into tears (as one does) because this time things were supposed to be a bit more planned and controlled.

We arrived at the hospital and went straight to the birthing suite where "Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me" was playing on the TV. The sight of Liz Hurley exposing her melons certainly broke the ice. The film was so inappropriate for such a momentous occasion but the distraction was somehow relaxing so we kept it on.

The Doctor was there waiting as well as a lovely midwife. Due to it being a Twin Birth, there would be an additional Midwife and a Paediatrician making an appearance as well. There was actually a few more people in the room at the end but I honestly couldn't care if the entire medical faculty was there as long as the babies would be OK.

The Doctor wanted to monitor the babies heartbeats while I was in labour which was fine by me as long as I could wear the monitor in the shower. The hot shower is my drug of choice and I generally stay in there until right at the very end. I like to be alone and I'd find having The Pianoman fuss over me quite irritating and distracting. Pampering during the Pregnancy is an entirely different matter though :-)

After an hour or so in the shower things were getting intense so I came out and told The Pianoman it was time. There was a flurry of activity as no one was expecting it to happen so quickly. It was all going to be done and dusted within 2 hours! I close my eyes and focus through the contractions. I then hear The Pianoman tell the midwife to get the Doctor quickly because "she get's like this at the end". He's helpful like that. I don't like happy gas as it makes me queasy but I was offered to suck on the oxygen mouthpiece. I grabbed that thing and practically chewed the entire end off it. The Doctor arrived just in the nick of time and the first baby is born. I finally open my eyes.

"It's a Boy!", I hear someone say.

I am completely overwhelmed with joy as he is brought straight up to my chest. I forget about everything else and the fact that there is another one to be born until I hear the Doctor say, "OK, lets get the other one out. Give me another push". You've got to be kidding me! It felt like an eternity but only 4 minutes later the contractions start again and I give birth to the second baby. It was not as painful as the first twin, very similar to the placenta being delivered - another thing I totally forgot about until the Doctor kindly reminded me there was one more push to go before it was all over.

Birth photos are not particularly flattering but I'm ever so grateful for the extra midwife in the room who saw the camera there and took these shots. I don't think you'll ever see a photo of me looking so relieved and happy.

With one baby in my arms, this is my surprised face as I hear someone say,

"It's another Boy!!!"

 Of course I launched into the "ugly" cry too.

So two healthy boys, around 6 1/2 pounds each. It was all over within 2 hours of arriving at the hospital. I couldn't believe it!  I was so high on happy hormones I told the Doctor I wanted to kiss him, to which he replied "I better wait till your Husband has left the room first". Funny guy. His parting words were "you're going to have so much fun with these guys!". Incidentally, he has identical twins boys himself and he certainly wasn't wrong about the fun bit. I also remember him looking at their ears and saying that he's pretty sure they're identical, which I thought was funny. A blood test and DNA test later down the track confirmed it.

I hop in the shower again, this time quickly so I could get back to my babies. I then had to decide which baby to wheel back to the room while the other was wheeled by The Pianoman, a decision that stupidly tore me up at the time. However, it would be the first decision of hundreds I would have to make over the next 4 years and I still struggle with. Who gets picked up first, who gets fed first, who gets the good cot, who gets the dodgy cot, who do I now make a knitted toy for first, who will get his brother's hand-me-down soccer boots and who will get brand new ones..........it never ends!

I settle into my room where I stay for the next 4 nights, loving every second of my babymoon holiday in the hospital and getting the hang of breastfeeding two babies at once.

The 2008 Beijing Olympics were on TV and all I could think was that I had my own 2 Gold Medals right here.

The Kids meet their new baby brothers

The home-coming - Let The Games Begin!

However, little did I know that the real games would begin when I stepped inside my front door for the very first time with these two boys.

The rest, as they say, is history...

So, did anyone make it to the end? 

Is your tea still warm? 

Do you like birth stories?

Is anyone pregnant with Twins or do you have a similar Twin story?

4 years in the saddle with Twins......

A busy couple of weeks here at the Farmlet with 3 of the Kidlets celebrating their birthdays in the one week.

Oh my goodness, my babies turned 4!!!

One requested a pink heart cake and the other a blue star cake. 

For them, their day was all about opening gifts at the crack of dawn, having a little party at home in the afternoon with some friends and blowing out their 4 candles.

For me, however, their Birthday always makes me feel a little teary and nostalgic as I reminisce about my journey with them over the last 4 years.

I've been a bit reluctant to write about my births in any great detail as it sadly seems to be one of those topics that divides women into either the natural birth versus caesarean camps, whereas all we should be doing is rejoicing in the birth of a healthy baby. At the same time, I really want to document some of the details as I don't want to forget them so bear with me over the next couple of Posts as I do a bit of reminiscing.

I always hoped to have a natural births but have never actually had one of those birth plans. What do I know? I had enough friends before me have children to know that there are no guarantees during the birth process. Despite wanting a particular experience, sometimes things just don't go plan. I honestly went into the births without any expectations other than a hope for a healthy baby at the end of the process. I had a positive frame of mind, hoping for as little intervention as possible but grateful to be living in a time where modern medicine with all its life-saving advances are on stand-by.

 In the end, I had "uneventful" pregnancies and positive, natural drug-free births for which I am very grateful. They were relative quick births though so who knows what cocktail of drugs I would have been asking for if they went any longer than they did! The first birth was 8 hours, the second was 3 hours and the Twins were just 2 hours. 

I thought my experience was fairly standard until I had my first baby and entered the world of "The New Mother". I was the one in the Mothers Group that had a positive experience but chose to stay quiet about my own birth as I listened to some of the new Mums absolutely devastated that their birth didn't go "to plan" and how traumatic it was. There they were with their beautiful babies but couldn't get past their birth experience. Why so much pressure? Was it judgement from others or themselves? In my experience, although the topic of birth is high on the agenda in the first year or 2 of having a baby, by the time your child gets to school, not a single person asks this question. It doesn't matter. 

Unless of course you have Twins. 

If you are seen with Twins, then you will still be asked intimate questions about your Twin Pregnancy and birth 4 years on, and almost on a daily basis.

The conversation always seems to be the same and I am usually interrupted with the following questions in the personal hygiene aisle of the supermarket as I try in vain to choose a toothpaste:

"Oh wow, Twins?!?"

Yes...

"Are they identical?"

Yes...

"Are you sure?"

Yes...

"My best friend's cousin's sister's neighbour has boy and girl Twins and they are the most identical twins I have ever seen"

Hmm...(This is actually an impossibility)

"Are they IVF or conceived naturally?"

Naturally. Identical Twins are actually completely random. One egg splitting into 2 is a complete freak of nature and can happen to anyone.

"But there are Twins everywhere nowadays!"

Yes, the incidence of non-identical (fraternal) Twins has grown exponentially in recent decades - due  to an overall increase in the use of fertility drugs, IVF, being an "older" mother, being a slightly bigger build, being an African-American woman, and having a family history of having non-identical Twins.

The incidence of identical Twins has remained the same for the last 100 years.

"How old are you if you don't mind me asking?"

Hmm.....I was 30 when I fell pregnant with Twins (if you really must know) but age is not a factor in identical twins.

"Did you find out what you're having?"

No.

"Did you have them naturally or via Caesarean section?"

Naturally...

"Did you breastfeed them?"

Yes. For 12 months.

"At the same time?"

Yes, the first 6 weeks with the big twin feeding pillow and yes I felt like a cow. After 6 weeks I could feed them one after the other without the other one crying.

"Do you have Twins in the family?"

No. Identical Twins are not hereditary.

"My husband has Twins in the family so we might have Twins down the track."

Hmm...(actually, your Partner has absolutely no bearing on whether YOU will release 2 eggs at once and have non-identical twins, although he may pass the "hyper ovulation gene onto any daughter you may have.  Your odds of having identical twins are the same as everyone else's).

You won't be having any more then?

Actually I have two older ones at school and now another on the way (I either get a lovely "you are so lucky" response or a look of sheer horror) 

"You must have had your hands full, how did you cope?"

Hmm...strong coffee in the morning and a glass of wine at night. When things got too much, I opened the doors and windows, turned the music up loud and chopped the heads off the Agapanthas. But tell me, what toothpaste do you use because I'm struggling to decide between the Minty Fresh and the Maximum Cavity Protection......

Happy Birthday Boys :-)