24/52 : Reflection

A Portrait of my children once a month, every month in 2013 via Che and Fidel

I knew weekly Portraits would be too much of a challenge for me with the arrival of the 5th baby but I really thought monthly portraits would be achievable. Alas no. I've already missed doing a May Portrait and we are halfway through June already. I'm going to sneak a little Portrait in here today though.

I love taking photos but as soon as I feel like I'm doing anything out of obligation I start to feel a little resentful and that is how I felt a couple of weeks ago when I realised I was due to Post my May Portraits. There were many extra obligations last month that left me mentally and physically fatigued, and I didn't take the time to work out which ones I could have easily let go. And now more than ever I need to just do what I can, when I can, without putting extra pressure on myself so I have the energy to be the best Mum I can be to the Kids. It's the very least they deserve.

So I will continue the rest of the year doing just that, simply capturing moments as and when they arise, as was the case with this photo that I took of my biggest 4 last weekend on the Tasman Peninsula. I love it because the day was completely unplanned and it was fabulous. The Kids had so much fun and the light was just right for some beautiful reflections on the Tessellated Pavement - an amazing natural rock formation. Whilst looking at their reflections just now I've done a little reflecting myself and have vowed to be a little kinder to myself, to be mindful of what is truly important to me and to keep my space here the way I want it free of any obligations.

Into the Wilderness

After spending the entire Summer Holidays at home and with one more week still left before the beginning of the new School Year, I decided a nice little break was in order. The Tasmanian Wilderness called so we drove 4 hours to the very west of the Island into the gorgeous World Heritage Area where peace and beauty were guaranteed and last-minute cabin accommodation would at least be a possibility.

We managed to find availability in a 6-berth Cabin in Strahan, once a sleepy fishing village but now a tourism mecca for those wanting to explore the World Heritage Area by boat, rail, plane or helicopter. We had done many of these activities before having kids and were on a strict budget so we took advantage of all the other free activities available. First up, Tobogganing and sand boarding down Hentry Dunes. It was difficult to capture the scale of the Dunes but at 30 to 40m high and with sand plains stretching as far as the eye can see you really felt like you were in the Desert.

The thing I love about living in Tasmania is that you can holiday in your own State and have all of natures delights truly to yourself. We hardly saw a soul the whole time we were away. Strahan is usually rainy but we had picture perfect weather while we were there. A fair bit of time was spent at Ocean Beach - the longest beach in Tasmania with 40km stretching out to the ocean. Rather than shells, the beach is dotted with pebbles of differing colour and size.  Eleanor loved collecting the teeny tiny pebbles while I liked the ones with the white stripes.

It was our first time away as a family of seven and since most of the focus has been on Baby Flynn these past 8 weeks I could tell the other Kids really got a lot out of the little trip and were able to see that life will go on just fine and Mummy won't be spending the rest of their life telling them to keep the noise down while the baby is sleeping. I also realised just how much time is taken up during my days at home with meal preparation, cooking, tidying up and cleaning and it was so nice to have just a few days not doing ANY of these activities and being completely focussed on having fun with the kids.

We stopped off at Lake St Claire on the way home for a play around the lake and a spot of lunch.

Sadly we didn't see any of these Giant vampire Kangaroos while we were away.

We're back home now and everything feels different. The kids are refreshed and happy and looking forward to getting ready for school to start next week. The adults are probably no more refreshed than when we left but the mental break has done wonders and I'm not looking at the Dishwasher with as much disdain as I did last week. We really had the nicest of times. Mel xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Now where was I?

Now where was I?

I seemed to have lost my train of thought in the midst of the Newborn haze.

One minute we're wondering whether there will be pink or blue tags placed on the baby's tiny ankles and less than 3 hours later Flynn Alexander comes into the world and now only 13 days later he is just so loved and firmly entrenched into our family that I just can't imagine life without him.

I loved every minute of my 4 day Hospital "Holiday".  I've had all my babies there so spending time with the lovely Midwives was like being reacquainted with a bunch of old friends. Don't ask me how I spent my time though. The Birth Registration form was handed to me the night Flynn was born and I still haven't completed it. No spare time - so it's now been passed onto the Pianoman to deal with. I think there will be a lot more of that going on.

I also think I'm going to need some lessons in time management. Remember that book I was going to take to read? Well I'm still on page 10. I seemed to have been fixated on all the spare time I would have in Hospital by myself but forgot how time-consuming a Newborn was. Yep, the hours just get whittled away staring at him and touching his hair and kissing his little face. Then there's the hours of feeding followed by more baby staring. There was time spent with the other Kids and visits from friends. And in between shuffling down the corridor for ice packs and heat packs for my "battle-weary" body, there were menu cards to fill out, meals to eat, flowers to smell, calls to take and midnight movies to watch. It was bliss.

I emerged from the hospital and felt like I was entering the twilight zone. Everything felt different and even the once green Valley had turned Brown. Apparently I missed a heatwave and some horrid Bushfires.

We are home now and all settling in well. Flynn is feeding like a trooper and sleeping well, although it did take a good week to convince him we are in the Southern hemisphere and therefore he needs to sleep more at night than during the day. I'm up a couple of times at night which is standard but he settles straight back so I'm tired but not soooooo tired. I would hate to say that having a Newborn is easy, but I can categorically say that having just 1 baby IS so much easier than having Twins.

I'm trying to take things relatively easy but with older kids there is a certain element of just having to get on with life, business as usual. The day after I got home, Flynn's first outing was to swimming lessons followed by a quick trip to the Supermarket for some necessities. We have also celebrated a Birthday with The Pianoman becoming another year older and wiser and with an extra little Soul to love I'm glad the focus was off the lame 1/2 Mississippi Cheesecake that we celebrated with. No candles.

The Kids are adjusting really well though. Eleanor dotes on him like a mini Mum and makes me nervous the way she carries him around the house. The Boys are gorgeous with him too albeit slightly rougher. They cuddle and kiss him and their main concern is whether he is getting enough milk. The School year will finish up next week and I can't wait to have the 6 week Summer Holidays with everyone at home without all the rushing around and I know the older Kids feel like they are missing out a bit being at School while we are here soaking up our time with Flynn.

And it's December! And apparently it's 2 weeks until Christmas. I'm feeling rather festive but haven't bought a single present yet! I hope there is still time and that allowances will be made for me being a tad on the slack side this year. Are you all organised?

Finally, thank you all so so much for your beautiful comments on Flynn's arrival. It's overwhelming to have such wonderful support from people I've never met but consider my friends nevertheless. I really appreciate it so much!

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I also thought I should mention that I'm now (back) on Instagram (Coalvalleyview) thanks to a suggestion by a reader who doesn't have a Blog but uses Instagram instead - thanks Sarah! I'm still getting my head around the etiquette and will try not to duplicate photos onto my Blog too much but if any of you are on Instagram too please let me know :-)

Hope you all enjoy the rest of the week!

Weekend in Pictures

I'm getting to the pointy end of the pregnancy now. I'm trying to slow down as much as possible, which is physically not that difficult given I can only really move at a Turtles pace these days. We're soaking up these last few precious weeks as a family of 6 and although the weekends are still full and fun, my hands-on involvement is kept to a minimum as the Pianoman does the physical running about while I observe all the action from a comfy chair, crochet on my knees and coffee in hand. I have never done such passive parenting and after this weekend I started to wonder if this is how Grandparents feel sitting back and watching and admiring their Grandchildren, without the intensity of having to physically attend to every request, need or demand. It's been so delightful, although obviously it will only last another couple of weeks for me.

This weekend has been great and I'm a little word-weary tonight so thought I'd provide a snapshot of our weekend in pictures.

We started with Little Athletics yesterday morning. We are new to this sport and loving it so far, not least because finally we have found an activity where all 4 Kidlets can be involved at the same time. And although it means a relatively early start to the day, there are far worse places to spend a few hours than Kangaroo Bay with the glorious bay as the backdrop and the Kids absolutely love it. I think the tents are a cute touch, although no point us setting one up because with 4 Kids there is no 'down' time between activities. I have joined Christina's Christmas Ornament Swap so I sat back watching the kids from afar and started making some crochet star baubles for my swap partners using Lucy's delightful pattern. Just for the record, I am NEVER this organised. If a deadline is in 3 weeks then it will be done in 2 weeks, 6 days and 23 hours. But, I thought I better be organised for the swap as our ornaments are due the same day as the baby :-)

l then spent much of the afternoon at home doing some more baubles and upon request I also made this cute Knitted Bow Headband for Eleanor.

We spent a lovely day fishing today. I'm still so surprised how much the Kids enjoy this activity given the patience required to actually catch a fish. The 2 bigger kids cut their own bait, cast their own rods and bring in the catch themselves.

Their fishing skills are improving which is just great because in all seriousness the Kids are eating us out of house and home. Today they caught 2 fish, a reasonable sized Flathead and a small Atlantic Salmon, both enough to feed the family for entree. Unfortunately I didn't get a shot of the Flathead.

Finally, with all this enforced relaxing, I've been able to practise a lot of the camera skills I learnt last weekend and so I thought I'd finally introduce you to the Kids properly. 

This is Eleanor, 8 years old. Funny, smart, pensive, loves animals, climbing trees, high achiever, she's so mature and independent it frightens me sometimes. An all round loving soul.

This is Charles, 6 years old. Loves sport, sport and sport and technology. A quiet achiever, thinker, worrier. The most placid, caring soul.

This is George, 4 years old (Twin 1). So cute I could eat him up for breakfast. Thoughtful, Quiet(er than the others) but stubborn. Sensitive, loving and cheeky.

And this is Noah, 4 years old (Twin 2). Gregarious, loud, clever, confident, active, loves cuddles, pushes the boundaries, ringleader. The pictures say it all really.

And to top off an already lovely weekend, I came across these Arum Lillies on the side of the road for 50c.

Hope you all had a wonderful weekend! I'm off to catch up on all your news now.

Mel xx

40 sleeps...........

34 Weeks Pregnant - heading out to Dinner (without Kids :-) )

If you fancy a speedy pregnancy, I can highly recommend having 4 pre-existing Kids to keep you busy because this pregnancy has been the quickest one on record. I'm 34 weeks already! How did that happen? Which means there is only 6 weeks to go, give or take. Or in language the kids understand best, only 40 sleeps until I am a Mum of 5!!!!! Oh my goodness, pass me the paper bag NOW!

I thought it might be time for a little update on how I've been travelling so far. I could have posted weekly or monthly updates on the pregnancy to save you from what will now be a lengthy Post but like many good intentions, it just didn't happen. Never mind.

Well, so far so good. It's been a pretty normal, textbook pregnancy for which I am grateful. Emotionally it has been the best pregnancy yet, not least because I have the joy of sharing it with the Kidlets, who at 4,4,6 and 8 are at an age where they can truly appreciate and get involved in what's happening. The gang are super excited and I am so proud at how well they have coped with the prospect of a new sibling along with all the other changes they've endured over the last 12 months. Also, worrying about one little soul is much less stressful than worrying about two at once and contrary to what I was expecting everyone has been really positive about me having a 5th baby. As my sister said everyone now figures I must really love kids. Now that came out a bit wrong but you know what I mean.....

We don't know what we are having. Of course I can't wait to find out and understand why people do. It's very exciting! We had a surprise for the first baby and for the Twins but found out for the second and I just personally preferred having the big reveal at the birth. For me, the gender is just a small part of their little personalities and if you've been touched with the loss of a baby or have been devastated by the loss of your closest friends' beloved 5 year-old, everything gets put in perspective and I just can't enter the gender conversation. However, when people ask I usually say it will either be another girl or another boy but NOT another set of Twins :-D

But it hasn't all been Beer & Skittles. Physically, it's been quite tough. The so-called normal pregnancy related complaints of morning sickness, fatigue, back pain, Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction (SPD or separation of the pubic bones), mood swings and heartburn that barely caused an eyebrow raise during my first pregnancy seem to be taking their toll on me this time around.

Or maybe I've just turned into a bit of a sook now that I'm 35 and entering that dreaded Advanced Maternal Age bracket. Or maybe the Twins are responsible for my current body failings. Or maybe it's just the culmination of having a few previous pregnancies. Or maybe I'm just a sook.......

I sailed through my first pregnancy at age 26. I was working in a law firm in Melbourne diligently accounting for every 6 minutes of my existence. I walked the 40 minutes to work every day, would make a dash to the bathrooms around 10am when the wave of nausea appeared. I'd return to my desk without anyone noticing, remain cheerful, make an appearance at Court, brief the odd Barrister in Chambers, then pick up a greasy toasted ham, cheese and tomato sandwich and polish it off with a chocolate paddle pop on my way back to the office, finish off the day, walk home again, take the Whippet for a walk, crash into bed and do it all again the following day. I did not miss a single day of work and no one knew I was pregnant until I was about 6 months along. Shortly after, I handed in my resignation as we decided to move back to Tasmania and raise our new family there.

This time around has been slightly different. All efforts to keep the news to ourselves for as long as possible flew out the window when the first bout of morning sickness hit and I inadvertently christened the flower bed in the Car-park at School drop-off. I had to chase the parent down who witnessed the ordeal and explain myself, which would have been fine had I not been wearing Ugg Boots and my husbands daggy tracksuit pants. It was then decided he would do the school drop-off and leave me and my morning sickness at home where the only people I would frighten would be the boys. They too started to get really frightened by the violent nature of morning sickness, asking questions like  "Mum, are you dying?" to which I responded "no, not today darling". My attempts at humour failed because the next day I would get "Mum, are you dying today?". "No, my love, we are having a baby and this is all completely normal, yep all very normal".

The sickness caught me completely unawares at any time of the day and night. There was also the evening when we were attending a function at the Athenaeum Club, a posh gentlemen's club in Hobart, where I christened the antique carpet on the way up to the dining room. I eventually made it to the bathroom and came out seeing my husband valiantly mopping up the trail of destruction with paper towel. Mortified to say the least. We continued on the evening as if nothing had happened but I decided I needed to keep myself at home to avoid further embarrassment.

There were a couple of weeks of feeling semi-human where we enjoyed a gorgeous little trip to Vietnam but short;y after that my pelvis packed it in due to SPD which meant I could barely walk without immense pain. Again, a normal condition of pregnancy which will go away as soon as the baby is born. Normal but annoying and painful nonetheless. I am finding myself increasingly couch bound which is hard with two energetic 4 year olds all day every day but they have been so great about it and I'm doing my best to keep things normal. Not that 'normal' is something that we carry off very well around here. To give you an idea of what normal for us entails, let me tell you about my last obstetrician appointment.

Picture, if you will, a serene environment where first time mothers sit anxiously in the waiting room with their beloved partner, holding hands and gushing over the pregnancy magazines while they wait in anticipation to see their growing Fetus on screen for the first time.

Then there is me with my entourage of 1, 2, 3, 4 'exuberant' sidekicks.

Before we even enter the waiting room, I have to clean up the boy who has watched me too many times apply make-up in the car at traffic lights because she is always in a rush after having to get a million people ready. He is pleased with his efforts until I explain that the 'lipgloss' is in fact lipstick and all the other kids start teasing him.

We enter the waiting room and the other boy chooses the 3D glasses from the 80's toy box to match his Batman outfit and proceeds to tell everyone he can see their brains. Charming!

I keep boy 3 occupied with my iPhone while I ditch the pregnancy books and brochures and enjoy some time catching up on trashy gossip from the surprisingly 'in date' women's magazines. I see a pattern for the baby jumper I knitted last week and ask for my phone back so I can take a photo, to which boy 3 states in the loudest voice "But I'm in the middle of playing Fancypants!". Eyebrows were raised and I'm still not sure if it was because he was playing Fancypants or because I took a photo of a magazine that would only cost $3 for me to buy myself. I pretend they are first-time Mums and don't try to explain the hassle of finding a car park, getting kids in and out of seat belts, fumbling around for change, avoiding arguments over chocolate bars at the counter when I can take a quick photo right now. I reason with myself that I could probably memorise the pattern except I'm suffering 'pregnancy brain'......

Meanwhile my daughter is waiting patiently, but her time to steal the limelight is still to come.

We finally 'escape' to the Obstetricians office. I adore him. We have known each other for 9 years and he has delivered all 4 of my babies. By 'delivered" I mean he made a presence at the end of each birth but he is there if things turn pear-shaped which makes for a stress-free pregnancy and birth. He is also blessed with an excellent sense of humour, and during my first scan this time around, he put his monitor on a split-view screen which showed 2 big circles indicating Twins. You have to be pretty confident of your Patient's sense of humour to carry that prank off!

He gathers 4 extra chairs around his desk, gives each of the kids a clean specimen jar and proceeds to fill them up with lollies while we wax lyrical over the state of politics in this State and his latest sailing adventure.

The kids chomp away as he starts doing a quick ultrasound. We are just about to see the little baby on screen when my daughter screeches that she just lost the big fat molar in the red jellybean. It has been wobbly for at least 6 months so there is applause all around.  The ultrasound is abandoned as the Obstetrician reaches into his pocket and hands her some loose change. There is much excitement and clearly the going rate in his household is 3 times more than ours.

Everyone recovers from that and we finally get back to the ultrasound, the moment we've all been waiting for. A picture emerges from the computer and there is another uproar as all 4 kids start squealing "Evil Eye. Evil Eye. Scary baby!". Sigh. Poor baby, already labelled by its siblings before its born.

This will simply not do so the obstetrician takes another photo, "Look, it's now blowing you all a kiss!". Crisis averted. Did I mention I adore my Obstetrician?

See, never a dull moment! Anyone else in the same boat at the moment?

I'm also a hairdresser!

I am sick of spending a fortune at the hairdressers. For the kids, not me :-).

It costs around $20 for a child to have their hair cut in my area. So for me that is a whopping $80 every time I take the 4 kids to have their hair trimmed. Now call me stingy but this is outrageous, isn't it! We're not talking anything fancy here, just a 5 minute trim. And those 6-8 weeks come around really fast. I would rather spend that $80 on something else, like a movie ticket for the next 8 weeks on Tightarse Tuesdays. Or 2 sessions with the chinese masseuse down the road. Or for an extra $10 I could get a trip to Hobart on Jetstuffed. Wow, the money saved could get me 3 weekends a year to Tassie and back!

I confess that I have trimmed Miss Fancy's hair in the past, but in all honesty this hasn't happened very often which is probably why her hair is down to her waist. It's a straight line across her back so no problem trimming her hair.  After a few years I actually took her to the real hairdresser for an 'inspection' and 'tune-up' if you will, expecting they would have to take 60cm off her hair due to my lack of skill and care in looking after her hair. But apparently it was in great condition and they took half a centimetre off. I won't be taking her back there again. That's one child down.

The boys are a different kettle of fish. They like their hair short. Well Blue Eyes does and that means the little boys do too because they idolise their big brother. So the last time I took them to the hairdressers I paid close attention to the ladies working the clippers and scissors. I'd seen sheep been shawn many times in my childhood too. How hard could it be? So I bought a clipper set and decided I would be their hairdresser from now on.

Blue Eyes was the Guinea Pig. He was a bit apprehensive because he thought I couldn't do it. Look at his face in the before shot. It was harder than I thought. But I finished the job and told him to look in the mirror. He was super excited that I did it. Look at his face. He doesn't notice the absolute CRAP job that I did. That it is so much harder to do than it looks (apologies to all you experienced hairdressers out there!!). I didn't let on that I thought he looked like a little criminal.

So I ponder, will I be able to improve with some practice or do I just let the poor souls have their $20 haircuts?

Before

After